Dating & Christian Singles Advice | John Giftah | Vivian Williams (Iconic Worship) Interview (Part 7)

0:01 Speaker 1: Do you ever look around and think, Wow, the world is a crazy place and it just seems to get crazier and crazier. Ease your mind and take a break. This is Fuel for the Soul with John Gifta. We're a hub for inspirational Christian sermons, practical keys for Christian living, and Christian discussions and interviews. You'll be inspired to live the life that you were created for. Your host is a top ranking podcaster, best selling author, world record holder, aerospace engineer, life coach, evangelist, and founder of John Gifta International.

0:41 Speaker 1: Welcome to Fuel for the Soul with John Gifta.

0:50 Speaker 2: And when you talk about being a Christian single, I think you're a Christian singer to day. I'm a Christian singer too. I think there's this one aspect I do. I don't know, it's very sense to talk about it, but it's like you, you don't want to do ministry with an intention of getting someone. But there are people who have made this mistake like or given this bad you know image. Oh, this guy's doing ministry because.

1:15 Speaker 3: He wants to hang out with the girls, you know what I mean?

1:18 Speaker 2: And because of some people doing that, a lot of people are affected from actually taking any step, you know what I mean? Like sometimes people tell me, oh, you have this ministry, aren't that girls in ministry contacts and things like that. But for me, one of the things that holds me back is like, you know, we see in the current stage because of somebody else, people who make that mistake of going in the wrong direction and spoiling the image. You want to play professional, but at the same time you need to at some point say that, oh, you know what, I'm also a single waiting for another single.

1:52 Speaker 2: You know, like, how do you think you as a Christian single? You're juggling this space?

1:59 Speaker 3: Yah about.

2:02 Speaker 4: Dating and being in mystery, right, it's a very very controversial topic because if you look at in the Bible, the Bible doesn't really talk about dating.

2:12 Speaker 3: It talks about only marriage.

2:14 Speaker 4: There is no there's no worse in the Bible where it said Abraham took Sarah and date. Okay, But of course when you see it in today's time and age, you want to spend time with someone and get to know them before getting married.

2:32 Speaker 3: The first thing would be to ask if that is God's will. If that is God's will, you.

2:41 Speaker 4: Will find that person also can't even talk to that person, you know, because today, especially Iconic Worship is a young youth group, a lot of people go on trivial until God told me about my wife, and uh, you know, it's caused a lot of mess. So I usually recomen people and telling you know, you've got to stole you keep it to yourself and just pray for that person and you've got a real to that person.

3:05 Speaker 3: Yeah, that is the first thing. The second thing.

3:09 Speaker 4: Would be, uh, as leaders is it is important for us to set an example because whatever we do automatically becomes like okay, is allowed whatever we do. So I would say, if God is revealed to you that that is your wife, and if God is revealed to the wife that is your husband, then keep it under wraps for some time and make it official by getting engaged and yeah, and then get married and not to date for too long and not too because that's what all the problems are caused. And once you date somebody and then you break up and you date someone else, you break up, you date someone else, you break up, your impetition goes down the line.

3:54 Speaker 4: So yeah, I would I would recommend that you know God, ask God's will if that's a person for you, and if that's the person we don't infront about it. If that post is meant for you, sure he will come and God will reveal to that person as well. And when God gets you together, you know, like see what does the next step immediately? You know, especially I think you know you don't know the right age for marriages. We have, I know, happily married people at the age of eighteen. You know, happily married people at the age of forty.

4:28 Speaker 4: So you know, you never know what God's plan. So merely get married. Because if you stay in the dating phase for too long as a leader, and if you're making it very public as leader tomorrow using your lifestyle as an example, people might do that for all nonsense.

4:48 Speaker 3: You might not do nonse.

4:49 Speaker 4: You might be walking in God's and you want to be walking in still life. But then people might use our lifestyle as an example and tell their pens. So, John, you've tased doing so why can't I do?

5:03 Speaker 3: You know? So that's sort of to be my advice for.

5:06 Speaker 2: Dating, But I also want to ask more about the aspect of how do you approach with that? In like in the sense what I'm saying is you're talking in terms of like getting into actual dating someone and stuff. Right, Like I'm saying, how do you signal to like you're single or you're waiting for this or you're praying about this, like in a subtle way because you're in ministry, you like or I'm in ministry where you want to signal like two potential opportunities like you know, I'm single and available, or but how do you do that without letting your guard on being professional at the same time understanding that you're human.

5:51 Speaker 4: See, the fact of the matter would be that you can still be how do I put it? Just like how you spend that I'm pretty sure the way you talk to your friends in ministry and the way you talk to other people professionally are different.

6:11 Speaker 3: M correct.

6:13 Speaker 4: Yeah, again I'm not telling one is uh, what do you say honorable less honorable? It's it's you're just comfortable more with you. So I think when it comes dating also, you know with if if you know that's the person for you first, I would you know you would obviously be friends with that person. And I truly believe that with all the with all you respect, with every principle in the Bible, you can still be friendly with them, You can still be yourself with them.

6:45 Speaker 3: Just because you're.

6:46 Speaker 4: A man of God doesn't mean that you're like you're just like okay, you know, hello, Praise Lord, hallelujah. All the times you don't talk about anything else you open the Bible, that's Adam Eve David.

6:58 Speaker 3: No.

6:59 Speaker 4: You know, with just similar to how your Christian friends you talk about world events, you talk about fun stuff happening around the world, you talk about good food to eat. You know, sometimes people forget that Christian leaders are still humans.

7:16 Speaker 3: Yeah, they forget that big time. They forget that a lot, and they know, what is it gonna tell us? Very nice?

7:26 Speaker 3: Forgot the point? Just killed mind.

7:30 Speaker 4: But yeah, but the baseline about us being humans and us having a good time as having fun while still having upholding by Biblical principles is very much possible.

7:40 Speaker 3: You know. It's not like every time you open it just.

7:42 Speaker 4: About Bible blah blah blah blah blah, yah YadA ara, come on, I would get bored.

7:47 Speaker 3: Yeah, I would get bored.

7:49 Speaker 4: You know, there are stuff you can talk about but still upholding Bible values. One thing I see which is really really wrong in my aspect, especially in the story is when a man of God marries another woman of God only with the sole reasons she would help in the ministry.

8:07 Speaker 3: So stupid. Yeah, it's you're a preacher.

8:10 Speaker 4: It's you're a preacher, and you're like, Okay, if I get a girl who sings, yeah, if you're a singer, oh, I can get a goal to place an instrument.

8:18 Speaker 3: It's very logical. This is like very transactional.

8:23 Speaker 4: True, it's like, okay, I'll have a singer for lifetime. I'll have measures the life mission for lifetime in the ministry at the end, goal, forget ministry, forget everything. You're a man, she's a woman. Do you really like her as a person? Yeah, you enjoyed spending time with her. Do you like talking to her?

8:40 Speaker 3: You know?

8:40 Speaker 4: Do you like walking with her? That should be the baseline, and upon that, these are the added benefits. She sings, great, she can help in the ministry. But keeping that as the sole reason why you're getting married, you're sacrificing your personal life. Yes, you know, at the end of the day, after all the ministry, after all the halla buzza, will you guys get back home? Can you talk together? Can you have a five minute talk as human beings. Can you make each other laugh? Can you make each other feel safe?

9:07 Speaker 4: Can you make each feel secure?

9:09 Speaker 2: Yeah?

9:09 Speaker 4: Can you make teaches feel loud? Can you make each other feel valued? That's the Chaceline say that is not there. You can be a great minister of God. She can be a great, great minister of God. And while you probably when you get together, probably your ministries might look very powerful.

9:24 Speaker 2: Yeah to force us, Johnny, but aty you still have, you are still broken.

9:29 Speaker 4: Yeah, you have to go back to your dinner tables and top at them as a human Yeah.

9:34 Speaker 3: That so. Yeah, I think sometimes we Christens forget that.

9:38 Speaker 2: Yes, we I think a lot of times, you know, since you were talking about it, like they over spiritualized this whole aspect. God gave me this very powerful revelation from for Samuel sap to sixteen. It talks about a moment when Saul, sorry Samuel, I know, in the next king of Israel, and he goes to Jesse's house and all the sons are light up in except for David. First thing is he doesn't choose one of the sons of Jesse just because they are the options in front of him, right, like a lot of times people just look at what other options and just okay, choose one of the options.

10:12 Speaker 2: He was led by the spirit of God. And the other aspect is that a lot of times people say, see there's this verse which says, right, God doesn't look at the outward, he looks at the heart. Right man looks at the outward, and say they quote that one particular part and then they say that, see, you should forget how the person looks, forget about physical attraction, forget about chemistry, and just oh, if they're serving in ministry, they're into you know, like they can help you over there. You know, on paper everything looks fine.

10:41 Speaker 2: Just go and marry them. Right. But then God was like, when you see, Helia was very attractive. But then God, that's when God responds with this answer, saying, you know, God looks at the inside and not the outside. But if you see, the first definition of David once David comes into the picture was not that he was a man of for God's on heart. Actually, if you see in the ultivation, it says he was dark and handsome with beautiful eyes. In another translation it says, it's a very fine appearance, very attractive.

11:11 Speaker 2: He was talking about his physical appearance, and that's when God was showing that you know, yeah, first thing is you need to wait for your David. The one that God leads you to, and the one that God leads you to is also someone you want to like. Is also going to be someone you're actually attracted to. It's not like just close your eyes and marriage just because they have a good heart, you know, like Christian's have made this whole thing with that per se And that's I think is one of the biggest reasons why there's such a rise in the worst cases.

11:43 Speaker 2: There's all of these things happening imbalance. And the other reason I told you about why we want to be really careful as leaders is because I don't want to be pessimistic. But I see a lot of ministers. The minute they come and reach higher levels, girls just come out of the you know, like how to say this, like this case happened twenty five years ago, and you know, stuff like that they bring out. So there is this thin line where you need to be careful not to give opportunity for something like that to prop up lato.

12:13 Speaker 2: But at the same time you were led by the spirit. At the same time you are projecting that you are single and available.

12:21 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right. Balance, but it's not easy.

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